


Whirl Enjoys Cartoons, Javelin Enjoys Whirl, Rewind Enjoys Participation and Chromedome Enjoys Fucking Nothing

by Draikinator



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, M/M, gender stuff, my little pony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draikinator/pseuds/Draikinator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Question: Did the world really need a fic about Whirl and Javelin and Rewind watching My Little Pony and accostinf Chromedome?</p><p>Answer: No.</p><p>Question: Did the world GET a fic where Ahirl and Javelin and Rewind watch My Little Pony and accost Chromedome?</p><p>Answer: YESSSSSSS</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whirl Enjoys Cartoons, Javelin Enjoys Whirl, Rewind Enjoys Participation and Chromedome Enjoys Fucking Nothing

Whirl nudged the engex on the table with the tip of one claw. Usually he was without apprehension about this sort of thing, but the alien girl wasn’t from Cybertron and for all he knew, the concept of empurata was entirely foreign to her- and while the whole lack of pity thing was a nice change of pace he was kind of nervous about scaring her off by cracking out his tertiary intake to drink this slag.

The alien girl released her intake clasps with one hand below the jawline of her helm and tipped back her cube. He watched her for a moment, trying not to look like he was staring before smashing one claw into the bottom of his helmet casing and knocking loose the clamps, tertiary intake falling open with a dull clunk. She flinched, a bit, but otherwise didn’t react- she probably had been warned about the empurata, then. The lack of pity was doubly nice, in that case.

“So, uh,” He said, downing the entire cube in a single vacuumed swallow, “You like cartoons?”

Javelin tilted her head to the side, optic dimming in thought, “Uncertain what that is. Elaborate?”

He crushed the cube in one claw, spinning the moist glimmering garbage around the tip, “It’s like, an earth thing. They like draw a ton of pictures and then move ‘em real fast and pretend they’re like real life or somethin’.”

She considered this for a moment, setting down her cube without destroying it, which he (or would have) frowned at, spinning his own slightly faster to make up for it.

“Intrigued. Do you have any?”

* * *

 

Whirl had expected the flight back to the Lost Light to take a bit longer than an hour and a half, because his altmode was not considered conventionally space worthy, but as it turns out, partnering his flight capabilities with an electromagnetic mass driver was not without its benefits and in short time they were magna clamped to the side of the ship, pounding on the side of Chromedome’s habsuite window while Whirl demanded he wake the frag up and let them in.

The alien girl seemed fairly interested in the structural composite of the ship and he waited patiently (with only moderate pede tapping and fidgeting) while she inspected the constructional integrity of the hallway in front of his habsuite, Rewind in tow.

“Whirl, seriously, it’s really late, and there’s a reason I didn’t wanna go to the party, I-”

“Shht!” He said, waving his claws in front of the little archivist frantically, “I finally got myself a hot date, don’t mess this up for me!!”

Rewind eyed the girl suspiciously, or at least, Whirl thought he was eyeing her- Rewind’s visor was even harder to read than his own optic. “Are you sure you wanna… That? I mean? He’s an alien.”

Whirl thopped him on top of the head and waved when she looked up at the sound, before returning to her inspection, “She, dummy! They got weird alien culture slag, be respectful.”

Rewind looked ready to explode, “You! You are telling me! To be respectful! Since when are you respectful?!”

“Since the recipient of the gesture in question was a hot babe, 'winders.” Whirl said, clacking his claws together, “Besides, and I’ve just decided, I like this girl thing. I am most definitely one of those things.”

Rewind buried his face in his hands and moaned.

Javelin finished up her inspection and trotted over, and Whirl had his habsuite wrenched open before she’d finished walking. He hadn’t locked the thing in months, having utterly decimated the locking mechanism with his claws, and now resorted to just shoving it open with brute strength.

“Compelling,” said Javelin, stepping inside and prodding one of the plastic horses sitting on the display case by the door. It was a pink one, with purple and yellow mane and wings and a horn.

“That’s Princess Cadence,” Whirl commented with a sage nod, and Rewind darted between his legs, walking by the display cases along the far wall, “She’s the best.”

“Whirl, where the slag did you get all of these things?” Rewind asked, picking up a blue one with rainbow hair. Whirl immediately plucked it from his fingers and replaced it on the shelf gently.

“Made 'em,” he said, trotting back over to Javelin, who was turning a blue and black alicorn over in her hands, “I got a lotta time on my- heh- hands.”

“Huh. Decent craftsmanship,” Rewind said, leaning in to look at a yellow and pink horse that was curled in on itself as if asleep.

“Concurred,” said Javelin, setting the horse down on the shelf where she had taken it from, “And quite indicative of skill you should not neglect.”

Whirl chuckled static through his vocalizer, straightening proudly, “Thanks.”

“Alright, Whirl, where’s the stupid disc you want me to play?”

Whirl picked up a colourful box that looked far too small for his claws to really be handling from a shelf, “This one, it’s got the whole first season on it.”

Rewind frowned, “Is this a DVD? I can’t play earth material, Whirl.”

Whirl deflated, winglets sinking, “Wha? What kinda data slug are ya, then?”

“I think Swerve has a DVD player in his bar, though,” Rewind commented, ignoring Whirl, “Come on, I think I remember how to work it.”

Swerve’s was, of course, both empty and locked, and while Whirl was happy to remove the door from its hinges, Javelin disabled the locking mechanism with ease, beaming the entire time. Swerve did, in fact, have a DVD player, and Rewind commed Chromedome to invite him, but his only response was “Please, Primus, I can’t watch any more of that fragging show with Whirl.”

Whirl dug some energon sticks out from under the bar and Rewind made a mental note to pay him back for those later. Maybe. Probably.

* * *

 

Chromedome awoke to clattering. His door was still intact, but something was definitely going on outside- something involving firearms, and deeply inset battle protocols took over immediately, pushing him out of bed and a blaster from the sidetable into his hand, at the door inside of eight seconds and wrenching it open.

“This day has been just perfect!” The words floated over the combat, digital and jarred sounding, some kind of strange song. “The kind of day of which I’ve dreamed since I was small!” To his right was a bot he had never met before, with tiny blue scrap metal wings fastened to her back and a ridiculous looking knife of some kind taped to her helm. And she was singing.

“Uh…” He started, the nose of his gun dipping mostly in befuddlement, when Whirl’s claw connected with his chest, knocking him over and out of the way, his habsuite door snapping shut behind him and leaving him tangled up on the floor.

“No, Chrysalis, the power of Love shall defeat you!” Whirl snickered, covered in what looked like dried engex that was making his armour glitter energon pink and a similar set of ridiculous fake wings plastered over top of his actual winglets. He shot at the girl with one of his chest cannons and she dipped out of the way quickly, fluidly, more fluidly than it looked like she should be able to, the blast putting a hole in Atomizer’s habsuite door.

Usually this would have made it clear she was the enemy, but with Whirl is was difficult to tell, and Chromedome tried to scramble back to his pedes, only to have Rewind trip over him and send them both in a pile further along the corridor.

“Rewind! What’s going o- what the slag are you wearing?” Rewind beamed up at him behind the purple engex coating his frame and the stupid horn that looked like it was fashioned from a fistful of straws that had been taped together.

“Shh! My name is Twilight Sparkle, and we have to defeat the evil Queen Chrysalis! I need your help, Domey, put this on.”

Chromedome eyed what was definitely a fistful of straws taped together and painted white, “You have to be kidding.”

Rewind shook his head fervently, “Domey, Domey, this is important. If we don’t find a Shining Armour to support Princess Cadence, the Kingdom of Equestria is going to fall to Changeling control. Princess Celestia is down, Domey!”

“Oh dear, sweet, Primus, let me be dreaming,” Chromedome hissed, standing back to his pedes. A blast shot past him and hit the wall. “Will they stop fragging shooting?!”

“Only if you and Princess Cadence defeat the evil Queen Chrysalis.”

Chromedome ran through every swear he knew in every language he knew before leaning down to let Rewind fasten the stupid tube of straws to his head, “Okay, fine, whatever, what do I do?”

“Princess Cadence!” Rewind shrieked, cupping his hands around his mask, and Whirl’s head swiveled toward them sharply, “I’ve found Shining Armour and broken Chrysalis’s spell! Use the power of Love to banish her and her minions from Equestria forever!”

“Shining!” Whirl cried with a dramatic swoon, skipping over and clasping Chromedome’s hands between his claws, “Oh, I knew she wouldn’t defeat you!” Whirl smooshed his face prongs into Chromedome’s mask and hugged him- actually hugged him with his outrageous chest artillery, before firing some kind of missile at the stranger, whom it struck in the chest and exploded in red and pink glitter onto. She fell back with a melodramatic fake scream.

Whirl laughed static and trotted over to lay down on the floor next to her. Chromedome looked imploringly at Rewind, who leaned up to bump masks with him in a static kiss.

“It’s not. Creepy!” Whirl singsonged from his place on the floor, leaning up to look at them. Rewind clamped his hands over his visor.

“Oh my god, I married my brother,” he squeaked, horrified, and Chromedome slapped his hand over the keypad, opened his habsuite and disappeared inside.

“Holy scrap,” Whirl said, muffled behind the door, “We have to watch Friendship is Witchcraft.”

Chromedome went back to bed.


End file.
